Forgiving Yourself
Let me share you a very painful experience I had as a nurse:
Way back in the mid-1970s, I left my nursing career at the Philippine Heart Center. There were a few reasons why I left, and this incident was one of them.
I've had about 2 patients I cared for as a nurse who died under my watch. But the last one was a bit traumatic since I felt I could have saved that patient had I responded immediately to his service call (the ward was full at the time). When I finally answered his buzzer, he was already unconscious, so I called Code Blue over the hospital's PA system. CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation) didn't revive him. He died in the elevator as we were doing CPR & wheeling him to the medical ICU.
Days before, he was a patient who complained a lot - petty and minor things, which was why I sort of ignored his initial calls that night he died. Since then and for a very long time, I never forgave myself. But then, with the help of Christian friends and especially my husband who was very supportive, I yielded my guilt and shame to Jesus - and I was delivered from that awful load.
May the promise of Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me" ) and Psalm 130 bring you ever closer to Jesus and find true forgiveness and peace - as I had. God bless.
Way back in the mid-1970s, I left my nursing career at the Philippine Heart Center. There were a few reasons why I left, and this incident was one of them.
I've had about 2 patients I cared for as a nurse who died under my watch. But the last one was a bit traumatic since I felt I could have saved that patient had I responded immediately to his service call (the ward was full at the time). When I finally answered his buzzer, he was already unconscious, so I called Code Blue over the hospital's PA system. CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation) didn't revive him. He died in the elevator as we were doing CPR & wheeling him to the medical ICU.
Days before, he was a patient who complained a lot - petty and minor things, which was why I sort of ignored his initial calls that night he died. Since then and for a very long time, I never forgave myself. But then, with the help of Christian friends and especially my husband who was very supportive, I yielded my guilt and shame to Jesus - and I was delivered from that awful load.
May the promise of Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me" ) and Psalm 130 bring you ever closer to Jesus and find true forgiveness and peace - as I had. God bless.
posted by Mary Ann Regala Raya at 8:42 PM
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