Forgiving Yourself
Let me share you a very painful experience I had as a nurse:
Way back in the mid-1970s, I left my nursing career at the Philippine Heart Center. There were a few reasons why I left, and this incident was one of them.
I've had about 2 patients I cared for as a nurse who died under my watch. But the last one was a bit traumatic since I felt I could have saved that patient had I responded immediately to his service call (the ward was full at the time). When I finally answered his buzzer, he was already unconscious, so I called Code Blue over the hospital's PA system. CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation) didn't revive him. He died in the elevator as we were doing CPR & wheeling him to the medical ICU.
Days before, he was a patient who complained a lot - petty and minor things, which was why I sort of ignored his initial calls that night he died. Since then and for a very long time, I never forgave myself. But then, with the help of Christian friends and especially my husband who was very supportive, I yielded my guilt and shame to Jesus - and I was delivered from that awful load.
May the promise of Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me" ) and Psalm 130 bring you ever closer to Jesus and find true forgiveness and peace - as I had. God bless.
Way back in the mid-1970s, I left my nursing career at the Philippine Heart Center. There were a few reasons why I left, and this incident was one of them.
I've had about 2 patients I cared for as a nurse who died under my watch. But the last one was a bit traumatic since I felt I could have saved that patient had I responded immediately to his service call (the ward was full at the time). When I finally answered his buzzer, he was already unconscious, so I called Code Blue over the hospital's PA system. CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation) didn't revive him. He died in the elevator as we were doing CPR & wheeling him to the medical ICU.
Days before, he was a patient who complained a lot - petty and minor things, which was why I sort of ignored his initial calls that night he died. Since then and for a very long time, I never forgave myself. But then, with the help of Christian friends and especially my husband who was very supportive, I yielded my guilt and shame to Jesus - and I was delivered from that awful load.
May the promise of Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me" ) and Psalm 130 bring you ever closer to Jesus and find true forgiveness and peace - as I had. God bless.
posted by Mary Ann Regala Raya at 8:42 PM
2 Comments:
Ma'am, I just got into your blogg. Well, they're memories that help us cope to our unexpecting future and considerable past.
I just want you to know that it was nice talking back to you then at the office (RCI).
Feel free to check out my own blogg at Travelling Polander
God is good, He makes all things beautiful. Thank you for your sharing.
Mary Ann, I linked your blog to mine..
www.writerjean.blogspot.com
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